10 Things I learned from The Bourne Ultimatum
I’ve decided to have a “10 Things I Learned” list every week as a way to catch up on any movies/books/fun stuff I’ve been up to that I haven’t had a chance to talk about yet. And once school starts I might even talk about something I learned from class. (Don’t worry, I won’t torment you with syntax or vocab words or anything like that. I’m not that mean.) So to continue the spy theme from yesterday, here’s 10 thing’s I’ve learned from The Bourne Ultimatum:
- Don’t argue with Jason Bourne. When it comes to spy stuff, Jason is right pretty much 100% of the time and probably knows what’s going on a lot better than you do, especially if you’re a civilian (that’s right, I’m looking at you, Simon Ross). Nicky Parsons followed this rule and ended up safe at the end of the movie, while Simon ran away from the trash man and left the closet even though Jason said not to, and was shot by the asset.
- Speaking of Simon Ross, I recognized him as one of the Andies from Hot Fuzz, and was expecting him to start talking about farmers’ mums packing heat whenever he was on screen.
- Pam Landy’s assistant looks exactly like Noah Vosen’s assistant, like long-lost twins or something. It took me forever to be able to tell them apart when they were in the same room with both of their bosses at the same time.
- Noah Vosen is the worst of all the Treadstone/Blackbriar directors; at least Conklin acted like a black-ops/military drill sergeant and Abbot was conniving and indimidating. Vosen was just a tool. “I’m going to need (something I can’t remember) Tic-Tac-Toe.” Sorry dude, but “tic-tac-toe” makes you sound uber-lame, not like a cool spy at all.
- Because Vosen’s such a tool, he gets verbally owned by pretty much everyone. My personal favorites are Pam Landy’s “Enjoy your egg whites,” line and his conversation with Jason while he was on the wild goose chase to Tudor City. It was awesome.
- The spies Bourne fights with are really good in this movie, especially Desh. He actually gave Jason a run for his money, which is pretty impressive if you ask me.
- I’m super curious about Nicky’s relationship with Jason from before The Bourne Identity. It makes you wonder what was going on in her head when she was filling out his wanted posters and sending assets out to kill him.
- Why does Jason never change his appearance? Marie and Nicky both dyed their hair, which makes sense, but he always looks exactly the same and you would think an assassin as smart as he is would want to change how he looked. I guess when you’re that good you don’t have to worry about people recognizing you.
- I’m pretty sure Jason could take James Bond in a fight because unlike Bond, Jason doesn’t need Q following him around with fancy gadgets. Bourne can beat up anybody with anything; a pen in The Bourne Identity, a rolled-up magazine in The Bourne Supremacy, and a book and hand towel in The Bourne Ultimatum.
- Don’t let Jason borrow your car, because you won’t be getting it back in one piece. (This one comes from Jack. Thanks Paco!)
Edit: When I realized that the quote was way too small to be legible (even in the link), I had to make it full-sized, which cuts off a few of the words. Grrr. But if you click on it, the link shows the entire quote. Sorry for the inconvenience!